The word ‘Drama’ is commonly heard and used in today’s world. This could be to describe something on TV or in a film. It can also describe what is going on in one’s life or the life of another person. Dictionary Meaning And on the dictionary.com website drama is described as: 1. a composition in prose or verse presenting in dialogue or pantomime a story involving conflict or contrast of character, especially one intended to be acted on the stage; a play. 2. The branch of literature having such compositions as its subject; dramatic art or representation. 3. The art dealing with the writing and production of plays. 4. Any situation or series of events having vivid, emotional, conflicting, or striking interest or results: the drama of a murder trial. 5. The quality of being dramatic. So when it comes to the word drama, it would be appropriate to say that drama exists in the absence of peace and harmony. And that like most things on this earth, one can also become addicted to drama. The Two Types Of Drama In a soap or film for example; the drama is usually more extreme than it is in an individual’s life. However, even if one were to talk about the average person’s life; there is still plenty of drama. This can range from all types of occurrences and outcomes. And what is certain is that one’s internal experience is unlikely to be one of calm and serenity. The external experience can be as equally chaotic to what is going on the inside, if not more. And more often than not, it will seem that this drama is just happening and that one has no control over its expression. Because on one side there is the drama in one’s life and on the other there is the attraction to the drama in the lives of others. Visible And Invisible Drama What is going on externally is easy to see and what is going on inside another’s mind and body is harder, if not impossible, to see. This is not only the case for the outside observer, but this may also apply to the individual. This means that ones: thoughts, feelings, emotions and even ones own behaviours may go on unnoticed and out of ones awareness. What’s The Attraction? So this creates the question: what attracts people to the external drama? Through becoming engrossed and attached to the drama in other people’s lives, it allows for at least two things to happen. One of the things this does, is allows one to escape form their own drama. And secondly by comparing ones drama to the external drama it creates a comparison. This comparison then enables one to see that their drama is not too bad and through this contrast one can feel more at ease. When it comes to the drama is one’s own life, it is as if this drama follows one around. And no matter where ones goes or who ones with; it is always there and like a shadow that can’t be removed. The Drama Addiction So whether one is running away from their own drama or caught up in the drama of another person’s life, be in real or through watching it on TV, there is an attachment there. This attachment usually goes on out of one’s awareness and wouldn’t make any sense to the conscious mind. And this attachment is creating the same habits and the same patterns of behaviour. The Ego Mind To be able to understand why something exists in one’s life and why it keeps showing up, the ego mind has to be brought into the equation. And the way the ego mind perceives reality is largely through ones early childhood experiences. And through these early childhood experiences the ego mind begins to form associations of what is safe and it does this through what is familiar. What this means is, no matter how functional or dysfunctional these experiences were: they will be associated by the ego mind as what is safe. The wounded Inner Child Although time may have passed; all these early experiences still exist in the wounded inner child. The old memories remain frozen and trapped in the body and one will take on these again through regression. This means that one will continue to experience the same feelings and patterns of behaviour that this wounded inner child has associated as safe. The Drama Experience When ones experiences this drama in their life and with it the absence of peace and harmony, there will be certain feelings and thoughts patterns. And these feelings, behaviours and external manifestations are likely to mirror ones early childhood experience. So what happens may be different on the outside, but how one feels and thinks on the inside is so familiar that another way is never even thought about. And as a result of this; the internal experience is not questioned or observed. These feelings could be: hopelessness, rejection, abandonment, powerless, worthlessness and fear. The Hidden Benefit On the surface these clearly have no benefit, but to the ego mind and to the wounded inner child they are familiar and therefore safe. What this also means is that the ego mind has based its whole identity on these associations and so if the ego mind were to let them go, it would seem like the end of its existence. The ego mind also has all kinds of defence mechanism to avoid looking at its self and facing what it would rather run away from. It does this because it works on pleasure and pain. And what happened all those years ago in ones childhood would have undoubtedly been painful and this means the ego mind will do all it can to avoid these early memories. Consequences So through defence mechanisms such as: dissociation, repression, denial and projection; all that one hasn’t faced will turn up in ones interactions with others and as internal experiences. And this is why the same patterns will appear and why drama often follows some people where ever they go and whoever there with. Awareness This shows how important awareness is. All that has happened in the past is only continuing to appear, because it has not been expressed. Through the ego minds tendency to avoid what happened, one ends up as a slave to their ego mind. By being the observer of the ego mind and allowing the past feelings, emotions and thoughts to be expressed; one has the chance to see that there another way. Drama exists as a choice or as a potential; it is not the only choice and is one of many potentials. If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article.
Oliver J R Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/
0 Comments
When the term letting go is mentioned, it would be normal to think about physically letting go of something. Just like how one might open their hands and drop something. However, the letting go that I am about to describe here, has more to do with psychologically letting go. This is something that involves letting go internally and letting go externally. Internally this can be: thoughts, feelings, emotions, sensations and perceptions. And externally this can be: behaviours, relationships and environments. These two sides are connected; as the inner aspects change the outer will typically follow suit. This process can also occur the other way around. And along with holding on; letting go is often described as part of life. There are also many traditions in the world that say attachment is what creates suffering. The Ideal Ideally one would let go of that which no longer serves them. As soon as something became dysfunctional or disempowering, one would let go and allow another possibility to enter their life. And this would take very little effort or energy. One may not even notice that this process was taking place, because it would be so effortless. Holding On When something has become disempowering or dysfunctional and no longer reflects who one is; letting go would be the logical thing to do. It would not make sense for one to hold onto what is only creating pain, suffering or stress. And yet, this is what often happens and then one ends up holding onto to what no longer has a purpose. The consequences of this can be devastating: this may lead to weeks, months or years of suffering; and for others this may involve a whole life time of unnecessary suffering. Conflict What this shows is that there is an inner conflict going on. Not only is there a battle with what is going on outside; there is also a battle within. And this is because they don't represent who one truly is. There might have been a time when they did, but this time has come to an end. And even though this is the case, these internal processes and external experiences are still around. The Ego Mind To be able to understand what is going on here, it is important to take a look at how the ego mind functions. And ones reality is constantly being created and filtered based on what the ego mind perceives as what is familiar and therefore safe. So what this means is; if something does not register as safe or familiar to the ego mind, it is highly unlikely to be seen or experienced. The Observer And one is not the ego mind and this why it is possible to observe the ego mind. If one was the ego mind it wouldn't be possible to observe it. The ability to observe the mind has to be developed and practiced like any skill; until ones become proficient at it. When this ability has not been developed one will have no other option than to identify with their ego mind. From here one will be pulled into experiencing both internally and externally what their ego mind has come to associate as safe. Early Associations These associations that the ego mind has of what is safe and what is not are typically formed in the early years of one's life. And this is why they are often so difficult to let go. With the memories that were the most traumatic and dysfunctional causing the biggest problems later in life. During these early moments, ones ego mind will form its whole identity and perception of life. And the ego minds stability and identity is based on these early memories and different variations of these memories. So for the ego mind to let go of these early associations of what is safe, it would feel like death. And that is why any form of change is threatening to the ego mind. It does not run on what is empowering or functional; all it cares about is if it is familiar. If what was classed as familiar was both functional and empowering; this wouldn't be a problem. The Present Moment In the present moment these memories have very little purpose, other that the reality they have created through ones identification to them. And this is because the ego mind can only be active when one regresses to the past or when these past fears are being projected onto the future. When one is in the present moment it allows for the true self to appear. And the true self is not something that is limited by space or time - it just is. Letting go and holding on do not apply either. Awareness This shows how important awareness is. Because without awareness, it is not possible for one to realise they are not their ego mind, let alone that they are the observers of it. Observing the mind can sound like another product of the ego mind and can be interpreted to mean escaping from it. These memories have to be expressed and faced. And this is a process that is a lot easier when one realises they are not their ego mind. And after many years of repression and fighting the ego mind, there is inevitably going to be a lot of things that one is not aware of and that need to be processed. This will allow the conflict within to dissolve. With awareness comes freedom; the past cannot be changed and doesn't need to be. And neither does it need to be escaped from. Conscious Individual This is why it is important to work with a conscious individual that can assist in allowing one to develop their observing abilities. Here, one can feel and express all that has become frozen in the body. And due to the build up over the years, this may be overwhelming at first. What this build up has done, is blocked the true self from being realised and known. If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article.
Oliver J R Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/ Our story is all that we have experienced up until his point, all that we are experiencing at this moment and all that we will experience in the future. And part of what makes up our story is the roles that we play. However, these are roles that might not even seem like roles, they can appear to be just how our life is. And this is why it makes it so difficult to question these roles and to change them. There is the saying ‘I am everything and I am nothing’. But does this saying have any relevance to life or is it just some fancy quote that sounds good? Let’s take a closer look at the different factors that are involved and if this quote has any truth to it The Mind It is a consequence of the conditioning that one has received throughout life that is the primary cause in creating and in keeping these roles alive. These are supported and therefore kept in place by the ego minds need to keep everything the same. It does this because its perception of what is safe is based on what is familiar. This conditioning produces thoughts, emotions, feelings and sensations; these will then manifest into behaviours. Each one of these aspects helps to keep these roles in place. The Environment So along with our own internal processes there are also environmental or external factors that are re-enforcing these roles. This could be from family, friends and colleagues .There is also the societal influence, which includes the media, religion and the government. Now, it is not that these external influences have absolute power; it is just that they are triggering what already exists within and this is what keeps the story alive. These could be classed as inner wounds that can either be healed or inflamed. It is quite clear that a society will create or produce certain roles and there will also be roles that are more common than others. An inner vulnerability already exists in certain people from a childhood that inevitably had traumatic moments. This vulnerability can then be taken advantage off by the media, religion and government. Acceptance An extremely important factor here is acceptance or approval. The roles that we play might not be particularly empowering, but what they will give one is a certain amount of acceptance. And an important question that might arise is; if I was to change my behaviour and view of myself would I still be accepted. Firstly there will always be people who accept us and who don’t; regardless of who we are and how we behave. The more we accept ourselves and are good and bad pints; the more others will be able too. There is a saying that says ‘it is better to be hated for who you are than loved for who you are not. And secondly although there will be a small percentage of people who know how we behave there will be large percentage of people that we encounter that have no idea who we are or what our behaviour is like. So therefore the only reasons that we play the same roles is because of these external triggers that are activating old trauma and patterns; that are waiting to be processed. Attention And just like how a living organism needs certain nutrients to survive, so does our story. Since in order for our story to survive it needs our attention and validation, without that it has nothing to live on. What makes this a challenge is that fact that the majority of what is going on in our mind is going on at an unconscious level. This means that it is going on out of our conscious awareness. And unless one has worked on their history or processed any of their past, there is going to be a lot of ‘stuff’ that needs to be dealt with. Our Five Senses A widely held paradigm in today’s society is that what we experience with our five senses is the truth. This of course is not necessarily true, especially when the mind is involved. When it comes to the mind and how the mind functions; this is a stance that is potentially dangerous. And that if it is taken literally, will cause years of struggle and frustration. With the mind seeing what is wants to see and what it does see is largely based on projection and interpretation. The unmonitored mind is constantly projecting its own meaning onto everything it sees and experiences, regardless of its accuracy. And interpretation works by perceiving and processing reality by matching it up to past experiences and then coming to conclusions. However, these conclusions might have no relevance to what is happening. Questioning Reality So if it works this way, it then shows that it takes great awareness and courage to be able to question what our reality is showing us. If we wholeheartedly believe in what our five senses are showing us, then according to that, what we are experiencing must be true. And therefore it must be who we are. Our ego mind will also perceive this as tantamount to its own death. Consciously we might want to change who we are and the roles that we play, but our mind has built its whole identity around this role or roles. And to change it would mean the death of the ego mind, or so it would seem. Becoming the observers of our mind and letting go of our identification to it, will create the potential for our ego mind to be our trusted servant; as opposed to being its slave. This will allow the true self to appear and out of which will lead to true self expression. What Roles Are We Playing? So, what are the roles that we have been playing our whole life? These could be roles that don’t truly reflect who we are or roles that are not empowering. As I have pointed out above, these roles can become so familiar that discomfort can be created at the thought of removing them. We can hold onto these roles even when they have no benefit to our own fulfilment. What Is Real? So of these roles are not who we are, then who are we? The simple answer would be to use the quote that I started off with ‘we are everything and nothing’. I would say this is something that will be revealed as we let go of our identification to roles and to our story. The mind will naturally feel uncomfortable with this answer and this is because it needs and wants certainty (which is why the media is so popular). Whether something is real and true is not important to the ego mind. This is because if something is certain then it is familiar and if it is familiar then it must be safe. The mind will then feel at peace. A Deeper Understanding Other people can talk about their experiences and give their opinions and advice and this will give the mind something to ruminate over. This is important and it might be all that is possible in the early stages. To have a visceral understanding and not just a theoretical understanding requires individual responsibility and commitment. There is always the potential of science to reveal what is true, but this is also possible through awareness of oneself. If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article.
Oliver J R Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/ We all have a story to tell, no matter who we are or where we’re from; a story that reminds us of a past that can never be forgotten. This is a story can define one’s life; one that contains the potential to create a life that is a reaction to the story or a life inspired and motivated by it. Our story So what exactly is our story? To me our story is a direct consequence of our early years and yet it is also being created with each and every moment of our life, with each breath that we take. This is a combination of how we were treated and how we perceived ourselves as result. It also includes the feelings, thoughts and emotions that this caused and the behaviours that were created. What we believe we are capable off and what we can expect from life. Each of these different factors forms our identity or self image. And the story keeps these alive through the inner and outer repetition of the experiences that we have. A Gift Or A Curse? We can see that our story has a profound effect on our life; it can quite easily set us up for life. This might be a story that one is happy with, a story that is meaningful and fulfilling. The challenge is when this is a story that is not fulfilling or meaningful, a story that causes frustration, disempowerment amd despair. And if this is a story that does one no favours; does it have define ones whole life or is it something can be transmuted and over come? Our ego The interesting thing here is that the ego mind allows one to have an individual story; a story that is unique and has its own meaning. This allows one to have their own purpose, a purpose that will coincide and connect with others, but is nevertheless unique to them. When the ego mind is mature and developed, it becomes a functional tool or conduit for the higher self to express its deepest longings. These may take the form of gifts, longings of the heart and passions that never disappear. These can be ignored or repressed, but they are never truly removed; they can’t be, for there innate parts of us. The Other Side It is then clear that our ego is there for a reason, however there is another side to the ego and side that is all too familiar. This is the undeveloped ego, the ego that has been described as the neurotic or primitive ego. As far as I know the ego operates on what is safe and what is safe, is what is familiar. This means that the ego will hold onto what it knows and what it has experienced, as this is familiar and therefore safe. So how does this relate to our story? What this means is that our ego mind will hold onto a story no matter how functional or dysfunctional it is. This is because it is perceived as familiar and therefore safe. Who Am I? The undeveloped ego mind fears letting go and is fuelled or exists through fear. If it only knows itself in regards to what is familiar then it is clear to see that it has no real identity of its own. The only identity it has is based on the past; forming its identity out of ideas and perceptions. So if it only knows itself through the past and what is familiar it makes complete sense as to why it holds on and fears letting go. As to the ego mind this would feel like loss of itself and therefore death. When in reality all that is happening is the ego is being matured and developed, becoming an assistant to the self instead of taking complete control and causing endless pain and suffering. Validation In order to embrace and operate from the self our story needs to be acknowledged and heard. To deny or ignore our story will only create a struggle with the ego mind and this is a battle that can never be won. It is not important whether this story is seen as the inner child or just as the past. What is important is that it is healed and presence/awareness is allowed to enter. Pure Awareness The self appears and comes into play through awareness or pure awareness. This usually comes about through the gradual and persistent observing of the mind which leads to the healing of the past, not getting caught in the movements of the mind only watching. Inspiration Upon the reflection of these different elements above we can concur that it is actually possible to move out of our story and that our story is not who we are or what we are capable of. And that our story is ultimately just a consequence of the undeveloped and conditioned mind, which holds onto the past because it fears losing itself. A New Story The past can be used as a catalyst and perhaps the past is relevant to our purpose in life. That each situation and experience we have is what will lead to the realising of our greatest fulfilment. And that each choice one makes or doesn’t make will lead one closer or further away from this actuality. A New Beginning The potential this creates is for a new story to be created in each moment. And that each story only exists for as long as the mind holds onto it. Our story might forever remain in our memory; however it doesn’t have to have the same controlling and limiting effect that is once had. It can be used as a point of reference and something that can inspire one to realise their true self; a gift and not a curse. An Individual Choice This is of course something to consider and ponder, and if it’s something that doesn’t ring true for you it can at least lead to further questions and potentially a path that is true for you. If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article.
Oliver J R Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/ When it comes to describing a Dysfunctional Environment, it might help us to also look at what a functional environment might look like. Functional Environment A functional environment then; would be an area that is conducive to growth. Somewhere that not only supports and encourages an individual to be themselves, but also allows them to. Here, one can express who they are and feel safe doing so. Positive feelings and thoughts are also more likely to occur in this environment. Dysfunctional Environment The dysfunctional environment on the other hand would be somewhere that doesn’t allow for the above to happen. Where the individual doesn’t feel supported or acknowledged in anyway, let alone in a way that honours who they are. This might be an environment that forces one to constantly compromise their values and themselves. The word door mat comes to mind here; with boundaries being nonexistent in this environment. Feeling and thinking negatively is also something that might seem to just happen; coming on like a parasite, without reason or warning. Despair is also another common consequence from being in this type of environment. Conscious And Unconscious Environments With both of these examples we can see that one is an environment that could be classed as conscious and the other is an environment that is the complete opposite. By this I mean that the dysfunctional environment is an environment where behaviour and the effects of that behaviour go unnoticed. The people in the environment have little, to, no awareness of their actions or to the damage, which is being carried out physically, emotionally or mentally. Standing Up Perhaps if one were to comment or mention how they felt to the person or persons in the environment, they might be dismissed or ignored. This of course all depends on how dysfunctional the environment is. The Frog Metaphor This is a story that is helpful in explaining the insidious nature of the dysfunctional environment. It is about a frog that is put in a pan and is cooked so gradually that it doesn’t know or notice the difference in temperature. And after this slow rise, the frog dies. It was oblivious to what was happening and its imminent death. It became comfortable and numb to what it was experiencing. So How Does This Relate To Dysfunctional Environments? Within this environment one will notice at first that it is draining to them. However unless one takes the steps to break away or steps out of the environment so that it can be seen from another perspective, they might start to feel comfortable within this environment. With their original state of mind and aliveness; fast becoming a distant memory. Now this could be because of a gradual drip feed approach or the slow cooking approach mentioned above. It might also be because it is an environment that feels comfortable and safe to them; as absurd as this sounds. It is reminding them of their history and what hasn’t been looked at. Is This How It Is? One might have never been in a functional environment. This makes it difficult in seeing contrast and in being able to compare it to other environments in their life. One might believe that this is how life is and that there is no such thing as a ‘functional environment’ or that it’s not possible for them. History We all have our own history, some parts that are likely to bring us feelings of happiness and other parts that might cause feelings of anger or resentment. This is history that won’t just disappear; it has to be faced in some way. That could be by directly facing something or by the assistance of a therapist for example. Pulled To Our Past We will naturally be drawn into environments that are mind unconsciously associates as being what is safe to us. These environments won’t always be places that empower or honour who we are. They will be environments that mirror the behaviours, feelings and thoughts of our childhood. Associations This is because of the nature of the mind and how it gets attached and creates attachments. What was experienced as a child becomes what is familiar and safe to the ego mind; regardless of if it is functional or not. If these associations are functional and beneficial, then what will subsequently happen is one will usually end up in environments that are at least moderately healthy and functional. Unhealthy Associations However if these are associations that are not so healthy or functional; one is likely to find that they are ending up in the same environments. Environments that are disempowering and don’t reflect what they consciously want or what their heart calls for. Where their energy is being taken and no energy is being returned. The Childhood Environment Above I have mentioned about our later environments mirroring the behaviours feelings and thoughts of our childhood environment if they have not been processed. Common themes of those years will continue to appear and play out in our present day environments. These might be themes that our unique to us; challenges that just seem to appear over and over again. A Recent Study I recently read about a group of rat pups that were genetically predisposed to be more fearful than other strains of rats. If these rats were left with their biological mothers, they were likely to be fearful and stressed. However after placing these rat pups with other rat mothers that were not fearful; they grew up without fear. The Power Of The Environment Now these might be rats that were talking about here, but what this shows is the power of the environment in shaping how we see ourselves and in who we become. There is always talk of nature vs. nurture and on the effect genetics have on life, however through the study of epigenetic’s genes have been found to require a trigger to be activated and that trigger is the environment. It is the environment that is making the difference. Choosing Our Environments Choosing our environments and therefore the people we have in our life and spend our time with is incredibly important to our own wellbeing and in achieving our dreams. The natural tendency of our mind will be to return to what feels comfortable and to what is familiar. Who We Are What happened in or childhood or what has happened in our past doesn’t have to define our life or who we are. That is something we can do in each moment of our life. If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article.
Oliver J R Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/ One of the questions I have been asking myself recently is; are we seeing reality based on how it is today or are we interpreting and creating it based on what happened in our past
The first response to this question could be; Of course we are seeing reality for how it is today, what else is there. This sounds like a reasonable and even a logical conclusion, to think that we are just experiencing life as it is and there is only one meaning when it comes to the situations and experiences in our life. But what if there is not an absolute meaning and the only meaning we usually see is based on our own projections and interpretations’ of what happens. Where Do They Come From? So the next question that might come to mind is; where do these projections and interpretations, which we have, come from? And what stops one from being fully present and to be able to see reality for what it is today? My current understanding is that they originate in our younger years. This is through the projections, interpretations and ideas that the people around us have about us during these formative years. As we come to accept and embody how the people around us respond and behave, we start to create a dysfunctional view of not only ourselves, but also of the world. What I mean by this is that instead of seeing situations in our life as unique and different from the last, we can end up seeing each one as if it were the same. Our Inner Child Although our body has changed and many years have passed since we were children, the child we once were still lives within us. What this means is that all of the experiences we had as children that caused us pain and conflict will continue to play out in our life, until this inner child is acknowledged and healed. The inner child is not something we can deny or separate ourselves from and influences every part of our life. This is because it is constantly trying to make up for all of the needs that were not fulfilled when we were a child and unless we can begin to observe our inner child, we will react and perceive the world through the eyes of our inner child. Emotional Age And Chronological Age So if we are still unconsciously identifying with our inner child and therefore playing out these old patterns and behaviours, it is not to much of a surprise that we can find ourselves acting in ways that are reactive and unconscious. Ways that don’t reflect how we want to behave or that truly reflect who we are and that attract us into situations that mirror our childhood. Our body will continue to grow, but our inner child is still craving and searching for all the needs that were not sufficiently met. And a consequence of this is that our emotional intelligence could be far removed from how old we are and our biological age. Reference Point With these experiences being the first point of reference for us as a child, this creates an association of familiarity and as a result safety for our ego mind. As I currently see it, there is two parts to this process. One is that these ways of acting and perceiving the world might have been functional for us as a child and yet as we grow and develop as individuals, this might no longer the case. The other is that although it was dysfunctional for us even as a child, it is our inner child’s only point of reference and therefore it holds onto the memory and reference point as a way to protect itself. However, through the process of observing our inner child and as a result merging with it, in the place of fighting it, we will see that there is always another way for us to act, and to see the world. To be able to see through the eyes of who we are today and not through the eyes of what was safe for us many years ago Holding On A big part of how our ego mind works is through its function of holding onto what it perceives as safe. From my experience I would say our ego mind is largely conditioned by our childhood. So even though consciously we can have the desire or intention to let go and to act in ways that reflect our true nature, our ego mind would rather die than let go. What I have just said might sound a bit exaggerated. But with our ego being the most primitive and oldest part of the brain, it hasn’t got the ability to question. This is the part of us that functions in very basic ways. The fight, flight or freeze response, arises from here. This comes back to the nature of the ego, with change meaning death. This is why the more we fight our mind the more frustration and anger we will accumulate. Being The Observers This brings to our attention the importance of being a conscious human being, to evolve from our primitive natures and to operate in the world as a whole human being. That lives not only from our body, but also from our hearts. To observe ourselves and to question why we do what we do. To fight or to resist our mind will only assist in strengthening our ego mind. As the saying goes ‘what we resist persists’. Becoming the observers of our mind means to step out from the mind, removing the resistance and the fighting. To move away from the black or white or all or nothing dual nature of the mind. This of course is a process and like anything else in our life, involves commitment and perseverance. It is not always pleasant facing those deep parts of ourselves that we have long denied and neglected. However, I believe that what we gain from it or should I say reveal from it, is far greater than anything we will have to face. If you feel this has been of value to you please leave a comment or get in touch with me. I appreciate your comments and views. Oliver Cooper After recent experiences and awareness’s in my life and also from what is happening it the public domain, I felt it was right to talk about my views and understandings of these two incredibly important areas of life. The Dichotomy On one side we have a great need to feel safe and on the other side we want to be free. However, as our need to be safe is so strong, our freedom is often compromised in the process. And it is easy to see which one of these usually takes precedence in our own life. Safety The need to feel safe could be described as our egos main priority. With the ego operating from around the stomach area, this is where our survival fears are and is also said to be the oldest part of the brain. Freedom When I think about the need or wish for freedom, I see it as a calling from the heart. I would also describe it as a higher, more evolved side of the human experience, as it is not essential to our own survival. So although we might have the longing for freedom, our body will still function without it. Better To Be Safe Than Sorry? The question is, how does our own ego decide what is safe and what isn’t? And might it be acting out of past experiences and old information? Might we also fear freedom at an unconscious level? So while the ego is doing this incredible job of keeping us alive, the information it often uses to asses whether something is safe or not is coming from our history. So as one reflects on this, it is easy to see that we might well be living in fear in the present moment not because of what is currently happening, but because of old memories and associations that are being triggered. And as the result of holding onto these old experiences and patterns, we might also be interpreting present situations in such a way that they comply with old experiences, when in reality they might have nothing to do with it. Trust Or Control? So as the ego has such a great need to be safe, this naturally creates a life where just about every part of it is created to correspond to what our own ego perceives as being safe. And then we have the kind of life that Bill Murray had in ground hog day; where the same things keep showing up and these are not always what we want to happen to us. This can include our relationships, health, self image and many other areas. Whether these things make us feel empowered or disempowered, they exist because our mind perceives there existence as being what is safe for us. And even though there is an association of safety, it doesn’t mean they are functional or like I said above empowering to us, as familiar is safe to our mind. After looking at the nature of the mind; the importance of being conscious and questioning what we perceives as safe, starts to surface. Although the ego is controlling by its very nature, the heart is more delicate and subtle in its workings. Our ego also allows one to be an individual to have an experience that is unique to them; the problems arise when we fall completely into this and think we are separate and therefore alone. The more we include and live from our heart the more we will begin to trust our life and that we our not separate or isolated beings. Being Conscious The more we question our own mind and the perceptions we have, the more we will begin to attract what empowers us and not just what is familiar. However, questioning and observing our own mind is not something that is usually taught or encouraged today. This can cause us to become identified with our ego, to lose our ability to observe and as a consequence become a slave to our own mind. We then just become a machine and a person that has no control or awareness of themselves. Of course we might develop materialistically, however when it comes to our mental and emotional health we could be primitive in nature. What Is Freedom? Today there is a lot of talk of governments and similar figures offering us freedom and such things. Even cars and the latest phones are associating there products with freedom. And I believe to some degree or another they do give a certain amount of freedom. But what is freedom? Is it something we can receive from others or is it something we create ourselves? And are we responsible for our own freedom? By living in a society or culture that encourages us to identify with our mind, it is easy to see how our freedom is going and will continue to disappear. If our own ability to be conscious and to question has been eroded, which leads us to live completely in our body, and then it is no surprise that safety continues to be the choice. When we are filled with fear and overpowered by emotions, there is not much chance of our critical abilities being utilised. And as a result of this we will quite easily give away our own freedom all to the promise of someone else giving us safety. So ultimately we end up living in survival mode, our own conscious potential being momentarily arrested. If our own mind is filled by emotions and thoughts from our past, it is hard to see how we can feel freedom at all. Letting go If our own mind is interpreting what is safe based on what is familiar from our past, could it be that our own attachment to our past is causing us present problems? And that the present moment is constantly clouded by our past? This to me shows how important it is for us as individuals to take responsibility for our projections, to see what we are responsible for and what we are not. This is why I believe that experiencing real freedom, which could be classed as freedom of the mind, is an evolved and a higher level of consciousness. If we are controlled by our fears, our emotions or our thoughts, it won’t matter how much external freedom we might have. Conclusion I hope I have explained each aspect enough. My main intention here is that this has made you think and question, regardless of whether you agree with what I say or not. If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article.
Oliver J R Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/ What I mean by this, is are we actually having an effect on our reality or environment or are we just bystanders in life, watching as situations and circumstances just ‘randomly’ happen, without us having any influence or control. Without even looking at whether this perception is right or wrong at the moment, it is easy to see that the potential consequences of perceiving life this way are not exactly empowering. Under this perception we can feel like a victim, lose all hope in life and feel that there is nothing we can do. Based on my experiences and awareness, I don’t believe that we are just the observers of our reality, far from it in fact. It is easy to see that many areas in our society are created around this perception that life just happens. And if that perception feels right for an individual, then so be it. However, if we want to live an empowered life, a life of true fulfilment, believing in such a thing won’t do much for us. When it comes to examples of this perception we don’t need to look very far. With the latest craze being adverts offering compensation for ‘accidents’ ‘that are not our fault’, to the media’s obsession of representing everyone as victims and even how we are always at the mercy of our DNA, are just a few examples. We can become totally consumed in the idea that we have no control over our lives. And of course, the more attention we give to such perceptions the more validation we find to support this and the more disempowered we become. What helps to support and maintain this kind of perspective is how our ego works in polarities. So it leads us to view the world in absolutes. The media is also a great example of this black or white view of life. If I was to say that the world is perfect, I would generally be seen to be in denial of life, however the media is constantly trying to sell us the complete opposite of this view, with the whole world being a mess. And we can, through time, start to believe it is so. One of the ways that we can become disempowered by the media is through the way they represent someone else’s experience of reality as being the truth, and how it would seem that the whole world has the same problems. Now this can be very appealing to our ego, as, if everyone (according to the media) has the same problem then it can’t have anything to do with us. This leads to us not only feel incredibly hopeless and disempowered, it also is a great way for our ego to avoid taking responsibility. So it could be said that the media validates our problems and help’s to prolong our struggles. One of my perspectives as to the causes of feeling like a victim is by becoming dissociated from ourselves that we can then become completely external and through this lose our inner awareness. By this I mean that our ability to monitor and observe our own mind disappears. So instead of recognising and seeing the patterns in our mind are becoming projections in the outside world, we become caught up by those very projections. And we can then become consumed by the dramas of life and end up living a life not dissimilar to a soap opera. I believe that one of the reasons for this is very often due to pain it is often easier, in the short term, to place our attention outside of ourselves. This is a defence mechanism and something that is incredibly important to function in the world. The problems can arise when we are constantly looking outside of ourselves, and as a result no inner awareness is possible. This is when it becomes a feedback loop, and we become completely overwhelmed by not only our internal reality but our external reality also. However the very act of being disempowered can have a positive effect for the ego, as strange as this sound’s. Let me explain, when we lose or should I say temporarily lose our ability to observe ourselves; we end up living our life through our ego. It could be said that the ego will do everything it can to avoid responsibility. This is due to the nature of the ego and how part of its function is to use defence mechanisms. To me defence mechanisms are a way for us to escape being responsible temporarily, from what is being experienced, as it is too much for us to handle. The trap arises when we live a life of being perpetually in defence mechanisms, instead of looking at what is going on and through that process taking accountability or responsibility. Yet observing ourselves, is probably one of the hardest things we will ever do, but like all things the more we do it the easier it becomes. And as we do this we come to realise that we are not our mind; we are actually the observer of our mind. Through this gentle and gradual process, we will become more and more aware, that we are indeed having an effect on our reality. We will begin to see that although our feelings, emotions, thoughts, beliefs and perceptions are not visible to the naked eye, they are having a powerful effect on every part of our life. As we create more of an inner harmony; our external world will always reflect this. One of the results of experiencing greater awareness of ourselves is that we will start to realise our true power. I believe we will only come to understand how powerful we are to the degree that we are ready to truly experience our power. If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article. Oliver J R Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/ |
Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
To book your 15-Minute Introductory Consultation, click here.
Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
My Books...
|